For most married people today, finding a marriage partner involves meeting unmarried people of the opposite sex and dating for some period of time. When the couple decides to marry through mutual engagement, the man typically gives the woman a ring. This process culminates in the wedding ceremony, after which the couple is married both legally and in the eyes of God.
Marriages have not always resulted through this process. For centuries, men and women did not find each other; rather, suitable mates were found for them by their parents or others. In Biblical and Jewish communities, this process dates back centuries and is known as “Shuddichim”, the Hebrew word for “matches”. One only needs to watch “Fiddler on the Roof” to observe the twists, turns, and intrigue of this tradition, which was usually assisted by a professional matchmaker, called a “shadcan”, or even the town busybody. Similar to the modern process, the pledge to marry under Judaism brought with it an exchange of a ring, a coin, or other sign of commitment.
Whether arranged or otherwise, marriages for centuries have had one thing in common – an abundance of available potential spouses exist. Consider poor Adam, however. He was God’s creative masterpiece, but he was alone in the Garden of Eden. If the idea of marriage had crossed his mind, he had no spousal options. Fortunately, he had God, the ultimate matchmaker, on his side, and God was actively planning for his marriage.
Perhaps, in part, to raise Adam’s awareness and interest in a partner, God tasked Adam with naming all the livestock, the birds of the air, and all the beasts of the field. Each of these creatures had suitable partners, but for Adam, no suitable helper was available (Genesis 2:20). Adam must have noticed during the naming process how animals came in pairs – male and female. Not one species he named or observed was without a partner, except him.
God knew Adam was incomplete without a wife; it was not a mistake. God knew Adam needed a mate, and so, “The LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him’”. (Genesis 2:18). God had not forgotten to create a partner for Adam, He simply planned to do it in a unique and meaningful way. God had anticipated Adam’s need even before Adam realized it, and He had a plan to provide for those needs.
“So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, He took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib He had taken out of the man, and He brought her to the man.” (Genesis 2:21-22). Men – If you think giving a ring is a big commitment, try giving a rib or other body part!
All joking aside, Matthew Henry says, “Woman was taken from Adam’s side, not from his head to rule over him, not from his feet to be trampled on, but from his side to be equal with him, from under his arm to be protected by him, from close to his heart to be loved by him.” What a touching word picture this is of God’s provision to us in His gift of a marriage partner!
The beautiful thing to note is how God met Adam’s need perfectly. Notice how Adam responds – “Adam exclaimed, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman’, for she was taken out of man.’” (Genesis 2:23). Adam reaction indicates how much he appreciated Eve. When God brought Eve to him and he got his first glimpse of her, it is easy to imagine his eyes bulging out, his throat forming a lump, and his heart pounding. In Genesis 2:23, Adam was telling God in the stilted language of his day, “LORD, she’s perfect; she is just what I need. Now my life is complete!” Then, in that beautiful Garden paradise setting of creation, God performed the first wedding ceremony.
It is normal for God to provide us with a mate and God met Adam’s need perfectly. Adam did not need to search Eden frantically to find a suitable mate, God arranged his marriage. Through His Creation, God arranges all our marriages. Adam must have sensed this intuitively because he slept peacefully knowing God would meet his needs. If you are worrying about finding a mate, be comforted that God cares about you and has a plan to supply your need.
Because of God’s provision, all marriages are arranged. God calls some people to wait longer than others. Some people reject the partner God chooses for them. Whatever the circumstances, the story of Adam and Eve’s arranged marriage tells us that God cares enough about us to arrange for a life-mate. Praise Him today for His faithful provision. Only He can arrange a perfect match.
In His love and service,
Jeff Myers
A servant of Jesus Christ
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